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Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor

"What this country needs, aside from a new Indian policy and a style of poison for children which will be liable to kill rats if they eat it by accident, is a Railway Guide which will be just as good two years ago as it was next spring—a Railway Guide, if you please, which shall not be cursed by a plethora of facts, or poisoned with information—a Railway Guide that shall be rich with doubts and lighted up with miserable apprehensions. In other Railway Guides, pleasing fancy, poesy and literary beauty, have been throttled at the very threshold of success, by a wild incontinence of facts, figures, asterisks and references to meal stations. For this reason a guide has been built at our own shops and on a new plan. It is the literary piece de resistance of the age in which we live. It will not permit information to creep in and mar the reader's enjoyment of the scenery. It contains no railroad map which is grossly inaccurate. It has no time-table in it which has outlived its uselessness. It does not prohibit passengers from riding on the platform while the cars are in motion. It permits every one to do just as he pleases and rather encourages him in taking that course." - Bill Nye (4 hr 49 min)

Chapters

Biographical

Why it was done

Where He First Met His Parents

Never Talk Back

The Gruesome Ballad of Mr. Squincher

Anecdotes of Jay Gould

A Fall Crick View of the Earthquake

August

Julius Caesar in Town

His First Womern

This Man Jones

How to Hunt the Fox

The Boy Friend

A Letter of Acceptance

In the Afternoon

The Rise and Fall of William Johnson

From Delphi to Camden

The Grammatical Boy

Craqueodoom

The Chemist of the Carolinas

His Crazy-Bone

Prying Open the Future

Mr. Silberberg

Spirits at Home

Healthy but out of the Race

Lines

Me and Mary

Niagara Falls from the Nye Side

'Curly Locks!'

Lines on Turning Over a Pass

That Night

The Truth about Methuselah

A Black Hills Episode

The Rossville Lecture Course

The Tar-heel Cow

A Character

The Diary of Darius T. Skinner

The Man in the Moon

His Christmas Sled

Her Tired Hands

Ezra House

'Oh, Wilhelmina, Come Back!'

A Hint of Spring

A Treat Ode

'Our Wife'

My Bachelor Chum

The Philanthropical Jay

'A Brave Refrain'

A Blasted Snore

Good-bye er Howdy-do

Society Gurgs From Sandy Mush

While Cigarettes to Ashes Turn

Says He

Where the Roads Are Engaged in Forking

McFeeters' Fourth

In a Box

Seeking to Set the Public Right

A Dose't of Blues

Wanted, a Fox

Sutters Claim

Seeking to Be Identified

The Old Cider Mill